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"Top Tens", and others Movies

The Cream of the Crap: Top 10 Worst movies of 2021

This ain’t gonna be pretty…

The COVID-19 pandemic is approaching two long agonizing years of existence. I am fortunate to say that, while some in my family have caught the disease, none has passed away. I am aware others have not been so fortunate.

That said, a last minute COVID diagnosis has cancelled my family holiday plans for the second year in a row, so I am rather upset. Therefore, I am transferring my anger in a healthy way to my current separate anger at the worst movies of 2021.

Thankfully, there are movies that I did manage to avoid, such as Chaos Walking, Music, Lockdown, Karen, and Clifford the Big Red Dog (I can only speculate from what I have heard about each of those). However, I still ended up seeing ten movies that were so bad they were even worse than Eternals (which wasn’t as bad as others say), The Ice Road, The Little Things, and even Space Jam: A New Legacy.

This ain’t gonna be pretty…

10.

While I would not say it to his face, I am not a fan of Jason Statham, but even he wasn’t the worst part of Wrath of Man. Despite a somewhat interesting premise, it took all the turns I did not expect it to, which was not something that worked out.

9.

I’m trying to remember what I can about Beckett, aside from it starring John David Washington. He is thrown into a manhunt script that is ridiculously forgetful and beyond convoluted.

8.

The comic force of Melissa McCarthy, directed by her husband Ben Falcone, brings us nothing funny or entertaining in Thunder Force. Octavia Spencer does not help either. The only ray of hope in the whole film is Jason Bateman with crab arms.

7.

I know there were a lot of people who were fans of The Tomorrow War. While an interesting premise, the execution is so by the books it did nothing of interest. I left thinking more about plot holes than about the characters.

6.

Apparently, Red Notice is now the #1 most watched film in the history of Netflix (by amount of minutes). The only reason I can think of is because of the three stars, despite them not being able to carry a script this lazy.

5.

I am trying my hardest to remember the twist at the end of The Woman in the Window. I can’t, and I am sure I will not lose sleep over it. I’m not entirely sure what director Joe Wright or Amy Adams were thinking. Or the rest of the cast.

4.

It’s been awhile since a movie year had so many musicals that, on average, were really good. The average for 2021 would have been much better if it were not for Dear Evan Hansen. It is borderline mind boggling to know how this premise was a broadway hit.

3.

I have been vocal in not being a big fan of the original Home Alone (I am ready to argue the second is even worse). Still, both of those and even the third one (I never saw the fourth) are much better than the newest one. Home Sweet Home Alone has nothing going for it except the charming Archie Yates.

2.

Space Jam: A New Legacy may have had bad acting from Lebron, but that film was a cake walk compared to Tom and Jerry. Just rethinking of the film makes me want to scream the way Tom does.

1.

While cringe inducing, the premise of Dear Evan Hansen was at least original, in a sense. The makers of Cinderella try to take one of the most known stories ever told to a whole new level of cringe. I am fine with Billie Porter in the Fairy Godmother role. What I mind intensely is how they changed the entire idea of the fairytale. While Camille Cabello is indeed talented, it is a shame this is one of her first roles. All the songs are versions of pop songs, only adding to the cringe. It is one of the worst musicals I have ever seen.

Update: It should be noted I am getting over the fact that I won’t see all my immediate family this Christmas. I am still not sure if I will get over these movies.

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