2 Stars

Morbius (2022)

…in this case, less is more BS

Approximately six hours prior to seeing Morbius, I (perhaps prophetically) had a dentist appointment to have a filling replaced.

If you know me, you know the dentist (despite how nice they are to me) are among my least favorite places to go. On the Brightside, there was a slight miscommunication, as I only had a cleaning done. The experience was rather paralleled in that to my going into seeing Morbius, knowing that word of mouth said it was not going to be good. Seeing Morbius is indeed like going to the dentist to get a cavity filled (or a root canal), only to find out it is something as minor as a cleaning: While it is not all that bad, it is not an experience you want to go back on.

As one of the last few films that were pushed back due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Morbius tells us about Dr. Michael Morbius (Oscar winner Jared Leto). He has been suffering from a rare blood disease (the name escapes me) since he was a child, which requires him to get blood transfusions three times a day (or, as he refers to them, “oil changes”). Like so many comic book characters, he experiments on himself in order to cure himself. Well, it works (it has to, or the movie would not happen), but at a cost: he basically becomes a literal, well, Bat man (minus the wings).

The cast is in fact relatively small. Matt Smith is Morbius’s life long friend/surrogate brother Milo, Jared Harris is there adoptive like father, and Adria Arjona is the protagonist’s assistant (and obvious love interest). They (as well as Tyrese Gibson in a somewhat obligatory role as an FBI agent) are not at fault. The key stand out is Smith (who I will try not to show any bias towards as a dedicated fan of Doctor Who). As the villain, he clearly is going all out and having fun (which is vital to basically every villain role), and we as the audience can at least walk away from this flick knowing he had a blast.

Where the story takes you I won’t say, because this is a movie that is (for the most part) too easy to predict. It seems like it would have been more affective if it came out over fifteen years ago (pre-Iron Man). The special effects are not special nor effective in anyway, giving us less than what we would want (one could say that, in this case, less is more BS.) This is one of those movies that tries to act original in having a fast action scene , with parts in the middle that slow down just so we in the audience know what is happening. The word lackluster comes to mind.

Parents, I can’t remember the last time I saw a vampire movie that was PG-13 (I have managed to steer clear of the Twilight franchise). I say this because this is easily the darkest PG-13 film I have seen in some time. It clearly has the violence toned down quite a few notches, but even with no sexual content, this is not a movie for anyone under the age of 13.

Then there is the case of Jared Leto. I will admit I did not know until recently there is indeed a general dislike of Jared Leto, despite his obvious talents as an actor. I feel he may be heading down the path of the supposed “Oscar Curse”, where Oscar winners tend to have a downhill career for a bit after winning an Oscar. Such examples could include Adrien Brody, Cuba Gooding Jr. (though he came back a bit in the 2010s), Halle Berry (to an extent), Mira Sorvino, Mercedes Ruehl (who I am confident in saying I have not seen in a movie as of this writing), and (perhaps most noteworthy) Roberto Benigni. Despite his talents, Leto followed his Oscar win (for Dallas Buyers Club) with films like 2016’s disappointing Suicide Squad, Blade Runner 2049 (2017), The Little Things (2021), and House of Gucci (2021). It does seem too soon to say whether or not his best days are behind him.

Fun Fact: Jared Leto is actually 50 years old. I would give anything to look like him when I am 50. I hope his ability to appear young is not due to vampirism.


Rating: 2 out of 5.

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