1/2 Star

Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

All for you, Mike.

Note: Earlier this year, I was blessed to be a guest on the Game for a Movie Podcast, hosted by an old high school buddy of mine, Mike.

On his pod, he and his friends like to talk about random types of media consumption, including takes on bad movies. 

Dear Mike,

First off, yes, I know I have been a bit annoying with the constant Facebook messages I have sent, asking if I can ever come back on your (truly remarkable show). Well, maybe I am a little desperate, because I went to see Jeepers Creepers: Reborn

Like the nanny in The Omen, I feel I did this all for you.

The sole purpose of this movie seems to be only that it can be discussed on your podcast. Granted, I never saw any of the other films, but know a little bit of knowledge of them (mainly that the “Creeper” is only out to hunt every 23 years, for 23 days). Based on what I have seen in this film, I am glad with the choices I made in avoiding them.

 The only way this film makes any form of connection to actual movie making is the opening scene, which gives us an old married couple in actors Gary Graham and Dee Wallace (you know, Elliot’s mom). We soon learn that this scene is a lame plot device in that it is just a youtube video on mysterious events. The watchers of the video are Laine (Sydney Craven, no relation to Wes) and her boyfriend Chase (Imran Adams). This is the type of movie where the makers have the sheer audacity to say that the female protagonist is a scientist when what we see is nothing like a scientist.

They are on their way to a Horror fest of sorts in Louisiana, since Chase is a big fan of the lore of horror. Here we see the Creeper (or whatever the heck he is) emerge, wearing fake wings and what are clearly dirty pajama pants. He of course starts killing off the lesser characters (including the one flamboyant friend, who’s way of saying he has to take a leak defies description). As you would expect, things go wrong.

So, Mike, you may ask why this movie should be on your show? Well, here are just a few reasons.

  1. A fair amount of the shots look out of focus.
  2. For a Rated R horror movie (mainly blood and swearing), the kills are rather tame and basic.
  3. I found more plausible movies on the Syfy channel.
  4. Almost no one wears a seatbelt.
  5. I just looked, and the movie is no longer playing at the theater I saw it in just two days ago.

It should also be noted that, as I look at the IMDB page for each person who helped “make” this movie, I have heard of none of these movies. The film’s director, Timo Vuorensola (who is also in the film as the earlier Creeper) has directed a film series called Iron Sky. The writer, Sean-Michael Argo, has written the movie Iconoclast (2012) as well as produced movies such as Sineaters (2012), Cleric (2014), and Fable: Teeth of Beasts (2010). Since you have mentioned certain crappy movies in previous episodes of your podcast, perhaps you have heard of some of these?

If you want more, perhaps I can get on the show to talk about it? If not, that is cool. Surely, you will at least appreciate this free promo I am giving you in this review, right? I even left a link at the bottom here for you.

Just saying. 🙂

– Mark


Rating: 0.5 out of 5.

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