Categories
3 1/2 Stars Movies

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)

My five year old self is dancing in his shell right now.

There is no denying my childhood was impacted by the shelled heroes in green, and I won’t be able to complete this review without reminiscing. They were on at 6:30 in the morning every day before my dad would drive me to day care. Somewhere out in the ether is a photo of me as Leonardo for Halloween (I vaguely remember being upset the swords were not real). I remember countless time playing the arcade game (still one of the greatest arcade games ever made), and watching the live action films (even the third one, which was bad even when I was a kid.)

Categories
4 1/2 Stars Movies

Oppenheimer (2023)

With the possible exception of Tom Cruise, no entity in Hollywood today cares more about the theatrical experience more than Christopher Nolan.

His name is the first to come to mind when thinking of directors of his generation, and few have been as successful. His is one of the very few names in Hollywood that can draw an audience just by his name alone. He is one who goes big with every ingredient that makes a movie, letting everyone from the actors to the replacement sound guy to shine. In Oppenheimer, he has gotten the closest he has gotten to outdoing himself in some time, as it is easily the best he has done in years.

Categories
3 1/2 Stars Movies

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)

Up until a few months ago, I had only seen the first two Mission Impossible films. Believe me, I know. It is somewhat sad that it took me this long to get caught up.

Perhaps I was just not yet willing to accept the mission ahead of me.

Categories
"Top Tens", and others Movies

2023 Halftime Report

Admittedly, I was not planning on doing a report of the first half of 2023, but obligation did kick in, so here we are.

It has always been no secret that the first half of a calendar year is not as strong as the second half, but that is not the fault of the films that are actually good.

With that in mind, here is a brief look back at what we have gotten so far this year…

Proof the Rom Com is still alive:

Streaming on Hulu, Rye Lane is a brisk 82 minute flick full of 21st century heart and laughs. I truly would not mind if this film lasted a little longer.

Proof that coming-of-age dramadies are still alive:

I never read the book, but I can only imagine this was a breath of fresh air to those who grew up adoring Judy Blume’s classic Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret. Abby Ryder Fortson is a true gem, and this is honestly the best I have seen Rachel McAdams in years.

Best based on a true story about a product:

A tie between Air and Blackberry, both equally enthralling films in their own right.

How to properly end a franchise (potentially):

Despite its run time and refusal to give us time to breath, John Wick: Chapter 4 did bring a fitting end to an action saga in the likes of which we have not seen before.

How to not end a franchise (potentially):

While not a horrible film, you don’t end this franchise with Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. You end it the way it always should have ended: with Indy and company riding off into the sunset after the last crusade.

Best Villain of the year so far:

As memorable as Jack Black was as Bowser in The Super Mario Bros. Movie, no villain has made a better lasting impact than that of Jonathan Majors’ Kang in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Here is hoping all works out for him in his personal life that he can stay on the MCU roster.

Best Comic Book/Animated/Sequel/Action/Multiverse Film of the year so far:

Duh.

I mean, no offense to the other films that fit this description, but come on: ain’t no way it would not be Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse.

Worst Comic Book/Animated/Sequel/Action/Multiverse Film of the year so far:

I know what you are thinking: “Mark, The Flash was not animated!”

True, but it may as well have been, because that is how horrendous the CGI was.

Between this and Nefarious, I am struggling over which is the worst of the year so far.

Best of the Year so far:

While other films like How to Blow Up a Pipeline were spine tingling in its own way, nothing stole my breath like Past Lives. Believe the hype you have been hearing about the film: It is that good.

Categories
5 Stars Movies

Past Lives (2023)

My friend Kurt and I have known each other since 7th grade English class, and to this day, I still hold it over him about how he “stole” and dated the girl I had a crush on (to be fair, their relationship  lasted about two weeks.) 

The same girl ( I won’t give her name away in case they are reading this, and if she is, I truly hope she is doing well) moved away before I could try to make my move, but we did stay in touch and even managed to go to my Senior Homecoming. We even went to the same college, but by then, despite our friendship, I realized she would almost always be out of my league.

Categories
3 1/2 Stars Movies

Asteroid City (2023)

As much admiration that I have for Wes Anderson and his films, it wasn’t until recently that I found out I haven’t actually done a proper review of one of his films in some time. 

Much of this I will attribute to cowardice on my part: I admit to not being able to completely dissect all he is as an artist. Still, it should not give off the idea that I am not a fan of his films. Very few filmmakers are as unique and eclectic as Anderson is. So distinct is his style that many a youtuber (AI or otherwise) have made their own WA trailers for a menagerie of classic movies, though that joke does not last long after the second or third one viewed. Basically, AI can’t compete with the original.

In any case, there is still enough here in Anderson’s 11th film, Asteroid City, to satisfy all fans of this brilliant filmmaker (I myself was surprised to see so many fans in my viewing.) The story centers around a play named Asteroid City, and the back and forth between the making (so to speak of the play) with scenes of the play itself.

Said play takes place in a very remote desert town in 1955, where the visitors for a Junior Stargazer Convention. Events in the play occur that will greatly shift the lives and relationships of the characters.

As is the case with every film by Anderson, the cast is not only stacked quantity wise, but quality wise (thought this is his first film not to star Bill Murray: he reportedly had to back out due to catching COVID). Here are just a few of the stars: Jason Schwartzman, Scarlett Johanson, Tom Hanks, Jeffrey Wright, Tilda Swinton, Edward Norton, Adrien Brody, Jeff Goldblum, Liev Schreiber, Maya Hawke, Steve Carell, Bryan Cranston, Hong Chau, Matt Dillon, Willem Dafoe, and Margot Robbie. It would take too long to describe each of the performers’ roles, and would (more importantly) rob you of finding them out for yourself. The cast is more proof that Anderson is one of the most respected director’s in an actor’s eyes, and to read just a few lines of dialogue is a chance to jump upon.

Admittedly, Anderson was one of the first directors I discovered to show me how a shot could be framed. When the camera is still (which is a majority of the time), you can admire all the detail centered around the character, from the backgrounds to the angles of the walls to a single cup on the floor. It is always quietly breathtaking, especially on a big screen.

Parents, this is one of the rare examples of a PG-13 movie with graphic female frontal nudity (although it is very brief and non sexual). The rest is casual swearing. Make of that what you will (remember that Titanic was the same rating and had more nudity in it.)

I am still not sure what it is entirely that does not completely work about the film. Perhaps it is just not in the same league of Anderson’s best works, like The Royal Tenenbaums (2001), Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009), Moonrise Kingdom (2012), and The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014). It could be that the director threw much at the window before he saw what stuck. 

Either way, even if it isn’t his best, that does not mean it is unenjoyable.

Overall:

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.
Categories
4 Stars Movies

Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 3 (2023)

“Once more with feeling.”

I can’t remember the last time an MCU film truly lived up to the tagline on its poster. 

Categories
4 1/2 Stars Movies

How to Blow Up a Pipeline (2023)

“If the American Empire is calling us terrorists then we are doing something right.”

This quote from Michael (Forrest Goodluck) is one of the hidden elements of How to Blow a Pipeline that make it more than just a hard core conservative’s nightmare of a film (the title alone would make one queasy). 

Categories
1 1/2 Stars Movies

Nefarious (2023)

(This review is a love letter to The 5th Dimension and their take on a great song from the musical “Hair”)

Categories
3 Stars Movies

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

A week ago, I talked about the Dungeons & Dragons movie, which was entertaining for something I knew very little to nothing about. Now, the other side of the coin, comes The Super Mario Bros. Movie, which I have known too much about since my brother and I got our first Super Nintendo when I was five years old.

Maybe that is a bit unfair. Indeed, there have been fans of DnD since before my time. Yet even those die hard fans have got to be fans of arguably the most popular mascot in video gaming. I have not played all of the games, but you don’t need to see his growth as a cultural icon. From the simplicity of sidescrolling and jumping to race karts and nearly every imaginable sport to galaxies and odysseys, Mario knows no bounds.

According to the critical consensus of Rotten Tomatoes, the film has a rather thin plot. While this is not entirely wrong, perhaps it is best remembered that this movie is for those averaged around the age of seven (such as my nephews that went with me to see the film). Though in my years of being affiliated with Mario, I never thought of him as having a big family (although him being an Italian should have been a giveaway.) 

Of course, there is no real surprise to see the film start off with Mario (Chris Pratt) and his brother Luigi (Charlie Day) starting out on their own as a new plumbing company. It isn’t long before they take the wrong pipe to another world, where the evil Bowser (Jack Black) is dead set on domination of all he sees, especially the Mushroom Kingdom and it’s ruler, Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy).

That is it as far as the story goes, which is just about the right amount of band width kids such as my aforementioned nephews (who loved the film) can take for a plot. Some may think of that lack of plot as a weakness, but it as far as keeping kids intrigued, it is a strength.

Surprisingly, the film also has some hidden strengths in it’s voice casting. Like many, I was more than hesitant at the idea of Chris Pratt voicing Mario, but it actually got to the point where I did not notice it at all. I have always been vocal in my fandom of Anya Taylor-Joy as a performer, and I won’t be saying anything different here. If anything, I was a bit more surprised her Princess Peach had more of a role than Luigi does.  There are others such as Keegan-Michael Key ramping it up as Toad, a really unrecognizable Fred Armisen as King Kranky Kong, and Seth Rogen’s Donkey Kong sounding like…Seth Rogen (which is not a negative in the slightest). Sadly, perhaps my favorite character was not in the film, but does show up in the post credit scene, so there is hope for the sequel.

In the end, there is one clear winner as the scene stealer, and it is Jack Black’s Bowser. Aside from adding more bass to his voice, there is the classic (albeit family version) of Black all over the Bowser scenes. It is one thing for Bowser to be a truly helpless “hopeless romantic”: it is another to have him playing the piano with the help of Black returning back to his days in Tenacious D. He is truly the best part of the film.

Parents, the film is PG. Your kids will be fine seeing this movie.

Those who are still skeptical should know something rather obvious: While this is no clear masterpiece, it is still much much MUCH better than the infamous catastrophe that was the 1993 version with the late Bob Hoskins. That movie was the start of a long run of movies based off of video games that were so bad it seemed like even a decent one would be a rarity. Over the last few years, that trend seems to have reversed somewhat, with the likes of the Sonic the Hedgehog films, the fedora wearing in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu, the reboot of Mortal Kombat, and (especially) the TV show The Last of Us.

It seems movies based on video games have finally had the dust blown out of the cartridge for good.

Let’s a- go!

Overall:

Rating: 3 out of 5.