Nothing else to say
“Our next movie is quite simply a masterpiece…”
So said Roger Ebert on one episode of Ebert & Roeper back in 2002. The movie in question was Spirited Away, and up until that point, my knowledge of anime did not extend beyond the Pokémon TV show.
While I never saw the full movie, I saw enough clips on YouTube to see why most people agree movie remakes don’t get as unnecessary (let alone bad) as 1998’s remake of the Hitchcock masterpiece Psycho.
Apparently, when asked why he did the (nearly) shot for shot remake in the first place, director Gus Van Sant responded “So no one else had to.” This mindset is the only silver lining I can think of for Disney with their live action remakes, whether good or bad, and the remake of Lilo & Stitch falls in the latter category.
When you think about it, there are some things in life you would not know about if it weren’t for certain movies.
I’m not talking about historical/biographical films, but more about films that get into the daily lives of people you never knew about.
In the last decade of Disney Live Action Remakes, there was a time where I thought remaking Snow White and the Seven Dwarves was forbidden.
The House of Mouse would not even exist today if the 1937 classic (the first of its kind) did not prevail the expectations, so naturally one would suspect that all of Disney knows that some form of respect is due it.
“DISCOVER WHAT HAPPENED IN OZ BEFORE DOROTHY DROPPED IN!”
So said the radio ad as I sat in my room as a High Schooler, when I first heard of the musical “Wicked.” My first reaction as a theater kid was genuine: “This sounds like one of the stupidest thing I have ever heard of.” Not long after, in the band room at school, our teacher mentioned we would be performing the music of Wicked, and everyone burst into applause…including me (peer pressure is a powerful thing). A little over a year or so later, I finally saw the show on stage, and was a life long fan of what would be come possibly the biggest musical to hit the 21st century (at least until Lin Manuel Miranda came around).
I had finally trusted my instincts, closed my eyes, and took the leap.
Just as Conclave, the new film by Edward Berger (who most recently did the 2022 remake of All Quiet on the Western Front) began, a random thought occurred to me: Ralph Fiennes has not received a knighthood.
Being American, I confess proudly I have no idea how that system works, but he surely belongs in the conversation of the greatest British thespians of the last few decades (it is astounding to me that he only has two Oscar nominations). Like most of the actors in Conclave, he is not one of the best known of movie stars, but he surely is known for capital A Acting.
The best of the Disney/Pixar films have been able to somewhat shape our views of the world, regardless of age.
As a kid, the aftermath of Toy Story had me admittedly silently trying to sneak a look at my toys, to catch them in the act of being alive. It took me a while to stop looking at a fish tank in a doctors office differently thanks to Finding Nemo, or what it would be like talking with my ancestors after Coco. And yes, even after nearly a decade, I still sometimes wonder what the emotions in my head are like after the original Inside Out.
Not long into The Little Mermaid, I wondered if I should now be disqualified from reviewing any more of the live action remakes.
As a nineties kid, I am not alone in saying how much Disney meant to me, especially when I think back to the VHS collection I had (no one had a better VHS case like Disney: those things felt bulletproof). Now we are in the remake stage.
A week ago, I talked about the Dungeons & Dragons movie, which was entertaining for something I knew very little to nothing about. Now, the other side of the coin, comes The Super Mario Bros. Movie, which I have known too much about since my brother and I got our first Super Nintendo when I was five years old.
Maybe that is a bit unfair. Indeed, there have been fans of DnD since before my time. Yet even those die hard fans have got to be fans of arguably the most popular mascot in video gaming. I have not played all of the games, but you don’t need to see his growth as a cultural icon. From the simplicity of sidescrolling and jumping to race karts and nearly every imaginable sport to galaxies and odysseys, Mario knows no bounds.
According to the critical consensus of Rotten Tomatoes, the film has a rather thin plot. While this is not entirely wrong, perhaps it is best remembered that this movie is for those averaged around the age of seven (such as my nephews that went with me to see the film). Though in my years of being affiliated with Mario, I never thought of him as having a big family (although him being an Italian should have been a giveaway.)
Of course, there is no real surprise to see the film start off with Mario (Chris Pratt) and his brother Luigi (Charlie Day) starting out on their own as a new plumbing company. It isn’t long before they take the wrong pipe to another world, where the evil Bowser (Jack Black) is dead set on domination of all he sees, especially the Mushroom Kingdom and it’s ruler, Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy).
That is it as far as the story goes, which is just about the right amount of band width kids such as my aforementioned nephews (who loved the film) can take for a plot. Some may think of that lack of plot as a weakness, but it as far as keeping kids intrigued, it is a strength.
Surprisingly, the film also has some hidden strengths in it’s voice casting. Like many, I was more than hesitant at the idea of Chris Pratt voicing Mario, but it actually got to the point where I did not notice it at all. I have always been vocal in my fandom of Anya Taylor-Joy as a performer, and I won’t be saying anything different here. If anything, I was a bit more surprised her Princess Peach had more of a role than Luigi does. There are others such as Keegan-Michael Key ramping it up as Toad, a really unrecognizable Fred Armisen as King Kranky Kong, and Seth Rogen’s Donkey Kong sounding like…Seth Rogen (which is not a negative in the slightest). Sadly, perhaps my favorite character was not in the film, but does show up in the post credit scene, so there is hope for the sequel.
In the end, there is one clear winner as the scene stealer, and it is Jack Black’s Bowser. Aside from adding more bass to his voice, there is the classic (albeit family version) of Black all over the Bowser scenes. It is one thing for Bowser to be a truly helpless “hopeless romantic”: it is another to have him playing the piano with the help of Black returning back to his days in Tenacious D. He is truly the best part of the film.
Parents, the film is PG. Your kids will be fine seeing this movie.
Those who are still skeptical should know something rather obvious: While this is no clear masterpiece, it is still much much MUCH better than the infamous catastrophe that was the 1993 version with the late Bob Hoskins. That movie was the start of a long run of movies based off of video games that were so bad it seemed like even a decent one would be a rarity. Over the last few years, that trend seems to have reversed somewhat, with the likes of the Sonic the Hedgehog films, the fedora wearing in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu, the reboot of Mortal Kombat, and (especially) the TV show The Last of Us.
It seems movies based on video games have finally had the dust blown out of the cartridge for good.
Let’s a- go!
Overall:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Just under a year ago, I remember a hangout with some of my best friends. We decided to watch a movie in the backyard with the big screen. The movie chosen beforehand was Hocus Pocus, a movie familiar to many 90s children like myself. I had revisited the film at least once before as an adult, and was sadly underwhelmed, for the nostalgia did not hold up. Yet I care for my friends and wanted to have a good time, so I persisted.
As I looked back at Roger Ebert’s review of the original, he said it was “like attending a party you weren’t invited to, and where you don’t know anybody, and they’re all in on a joke but won’t explain it to you.”
Nothing else to say