The Super Mario Bros. Movie – Nothing else to say

2023 Halftime Report

Admittedly, I was not planning on doing a report of the first half of 2023, but obligation did kick in, so here we are.

It has always been no secret that the first half of a calendar year is not as strong as the second half, but that is not the fault of the films that are actually good.

With that in mind, here is a brief look back at what we have gotten so far this year…

Proof the Rom Com is still alive:

Streaming on Hulu, Rye Lane is a brisk 82 minute flick full of 21st century heart and laughs. I truly would not mind if this film lasted a little longer.

Proof that coming-of-age dramadies are still alive:

I never read the book, but I can only imagine this was a breath of fresh air to those who grew up adoring Judy Blume’s classic Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret. Abby Ryder Fortson is a true gem, and this is honestly the best I have seen Rachel McAdams in years.

Best based on a true story about a product:

A tie between Air and Blackberry, both equally enthralling films in their own right.

How to properly end a franchise (potentially):

Despite its run time and refusal to give us time to breath, John Wick: Chapter 4 did bring a fitting end to an action saga in the likes of which we have not seen before.

How to not end a franchise (potentially):

While not a horrible film, you don’t end this franchise with Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. You end it the way it always should have ended: with Indy and company riding off into the sunset after the last crusade.

Best Villain of the year so far:

As memorable as Jack Black was as Bowser in The Super Mario Bros. Movie, no villain has made a better lasting impact than that of Jonathan Majors’ Kang in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Here is hoping all works out for him in his personal life that he can stay on the MCU roster.

Best Comic Book/Animated/Sequel/Action/Multiverse Film of the year so far:

Duh.

I mean, no offense to the other films that fit this description, but come on: ain’t no way it would not be Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse.

Worst Comic Book/Animated/Sequel/Action/Multiverse Film of the year so far:

I know what you are thinking: “Mark, The Flash was not animated!”

True, but it may as well have been, because that is how horrendous the CGI was.

Between this and Nefar i ous, I am struggling over which is the worst of the year so far.

Best of the Year so far:

While other films like How to Blow Up a Pipeline were spine tingling in its own way, nothing stole my breath like Past Lives. Believe the hype you have been hearing about the film: It is that good.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

A week ago, I talked about the Dungeons & Dragons movie, which was entertaining for something I knew very little to nothing about. Now, the other side of the coin, comes The Super Mario Bros. Movie, which I have known too much about since my brother and I got our first Super Nintendo when I was five years old.

Maybe that is a bit unfair. Indeed, there have been fans of DnD since before my time. Yet even those die hard fans have got to be fans of arguably the most popular mascot in video gaming. I have not played all of the games, but you don’t need to see his growth as a cultural icon. From the simplicity of sidescrolling and jumping to race karts and nearly every imaginable sport to galaxies and odysseys, Mario knows no bounds.

According to the critical consensus of Rotten Tomatoes, the film has a rather thin plot. While this is not entirely wrong, perhaps it is best remembered that this movie is for those averaged around the age of seven (such as my nephews that went with me to see the film). Though in my years of being affiliated with Mario, I never thought of him as having a big family (although him being an Italian should have been a giveaway.)

Of course, there is no real surprise to see the film start off with Mario (Chris Pratt) and his brother Luigi (Charlie Day) starting out on their own as a new plumbing company. It isn’t long before they take the wrong pipe to another world, where the evil Bowser (Jack Black) is dead set on domination of all he sees, especially the Mushroom Kingdom and it’s ruler, Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy).

That is it as far as the story goes, which is just about the right amount of band width kids such as my aforementioned nephews (who loved the film) can take for a plot. Some may think of that lack of plot as a weakness, but it as far as keeping kids intrigued, it is a strength.

Surprisingly, the film also has some hidden strengths in it’s voice casting. Like many, I was more than hesitant at the idea of Chris Pratt voicing Mario, but it actually got to the point where I did not notice it at all. I have always been vocal in my fandom of Anya Taylor-Joy as a performer, and I won’t be saying anything different here. If anything, I was a bit more surprised her Princess Peach had more of a role than Luigi does. There are others such as Keegan-Michael Key ramping it up as Toad, a really unrecognizable Fred Armisen as King Kranky Kong, and Seth Rogen’s Donkey Kong sounding like…Seth Rogen (which is not a negative in the slightest). Sadly, perhaps my favorite character was not in the film, but does show up in the post credit scene, so there is hope for the sequel.

In the end, there is one clear winner as the scene stealer, and it is Jack Black’s Bowser. Aside from adding more bass to his voice, there is the classic (albeit family version) of Black all over the Bowser scenes. It is one thing for Bowser to be a truly helpless “hopeless romantic”: it is another to have him playing the piano with the help of Black returning back to his days in Tenacious D. He is truly the best part of the film.

Parents, the film is PG. Your kids will be fine seeing this movie.

Those who are still skeptical should know something rather obvious: While this is no clear masterpiece, it is still much much MUCH better than the infamous catastrophe that was the 1993 version with the late Bob Hoskins. That movie was the start of a long run of movies based off of video games that were so bad it seemed like even a decent one would be a rarity. Over the last few years, that trend seems to have reversed somewhat, with the likes of the Sonic the Hedgehog films, the fedora wearing in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu, the reboot of Mortal Kombat, and (especially) the TV show The Last of Us.

It seems movies based on video games have finally had the dust blown out of the cartridge for good.

Let’s a- go!

Overall: