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4 Stars

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

The original Top Gun from 1986 is one of those films that can represent multiple forms of nostalgia.

For years, it was a Christmas tradition for my cousins and I when we reunited every Christmas Eve. On another occasion, it was the film of choice at a YMCA camp I attended as a teenager, while and my fellow campers spent a good amount of time yelling “PDA!” (Public Display of Affection) during “Take my Breath Away”. I venture to guess there are more than enough scenarios for others out there (first dates, special birthday parties, etc) with their connection to the original (I read that the actual Top Gun school fines its students for quoting the film). In short, a sequel has indeed been anticipated by many more than one might think.

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0 Stars Movies

2000 Mules (2022)

A few months ago, I was honored to be featured on the Game for a Movie Podcast, hosted by my old friend Mike, in which we predicted the Oscars (not to brag, but I triumphed.)

I admit to asking him far too often afterwards if I could come on another episode, mainly one where he and his co-hosts talk about bad movies. Therefore, I decided to go toward the bottom of the barrel of bad movies, but I out did myself. I lifted the barrel, dug a little, and found 2000 Mules.


To put it bluntly, the only reason this movie wasn’t the worst thing to happen to me in the past week was because I tested positive for COVID (doing okay, thank you).


For those who have not heard of this film (which I can’t blame you if you haven’t), conspiracy theorist Dinesh D’Zousa (that title fits him far better than filmmaker) reveals the “proof” that the 2020 election was not won by Biden. The information he gives is from a company in Texas called True the Vote, which was able to supply videos of people who were dropping off loads of ballots at different locations in key states that Biden won (Georgia, Arizona, and especially Philadelphia).I admit to not knowing if the 2020 election was indeed the “most secure election in American history”, but what this guy gives the audience is something more like aged Swiss Cheese: It smells and is full of holes.

Okay, I actually should not have said that, because I do like Swiss Cheese.


Speaking of audience, it is clear this film is made mainly for the “MAGA” crowd. Wouldn’t it be more productive for D’Souza (whose 2018 film The Death of the Nation was one of the worst movies I saw in the 2010s) to make a film that actually reaches out to the opposition, there by convincing people of his views? Granted, this would not work, because no one behind this film has heard of a works cited page or bibliography.


It is true that documentaries will have us leaving the theater with questions, but the good films are the ones that leave us with questions because of the film, not about it. Google would be a better source than I to fact check this film, but here are some personal questions I had regarding it:

  1. If the election was indeed “rigged”, wouldn’t the government be smart enough to realize that geotracking could find out their plans? (In the movie, it is stated that at least one camera powers off during a critical time, but no more).
  2. WHY DOES DINESH AND COMPANY THINK ANYONE WANTS TO RELIVE ANY WORLD EVENTS FROM 2020?
  3. Why did Dinesh make a rookie mistake in showing basically the whole movie in the film’s trailer?
  4. When finding these “facts” out, why make a movie about and not just, I dunno, take it to court?
  5. How many licks does it take to get to the center of Tootsie Pop?

I’d ask more, but I am reminded of a quote from the great George Carlin:
“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

I will give Dinesh this: In one of the videos, he is kind enough to pixel out not just the person in question, but the dog with them. At least he cares for the dog.

Overall:

Zero Stars

Categories
3 1/2 Stars

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Like many a millennial, I grew associating filmmaker Sam Raimi with the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man Trilogy. While known to be a potent force in the arena of cinematic horror, I sadly have only seen one Sam Raimi horror film as of this writing, The Evil Dead (although one could make the argument Spider-Man 3 was actually a horror in other ways).

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Movies

The Northman (2022)

Years ago, as a camp counselor for the young teens of my church, we had a night of split activities for the boys and girls. As the girls went off to have their nails done, the gentleman stayed in the cafeteria/gym to have various types of physical challenges (most notably the push up contest, which one of my campers easily dominated).

Toward the end of this, the girls came in, complaining right away about a smell that none of the males could register. One of the camp’s leaders quickly quipped,

“Ladies, that is testosterone.”

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3 1/2 Stars

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)

Before we saw The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (one of the best movie titles in recent memory), my friend Peter asked an interesting question.

“Who would win in a fight: Nicholas Cage or Chuck Norris?”

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3 Stars

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)

Admittedly, I most likely was too kind to Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald when I gave it just two and a half out of five.

I realized this when, about ten minutes into Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore, I struggled immensely to remember what actually happened in the previous film (apparently Zoè Kravitz was in the film). Thankfully, I remembered just enough to understand what was happening on screen.

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4 1/2 Stars

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

“TAKE THE RIGHT PATH. PG 43”

“TAKE THE LEFT PATH. PG 24”

I am not sure if they are popular with kids anymore, but I remember a good chunk of my free time in elementary school was spent reading some of the “choose your own adventure” book series. The options would make or break the outcome of the mood I would feel all day, which sadly lead to some downer days (I always seemed to be lead to my doom of some kind with my choices). The idea of the choices we make is just one of many, many, many, many ingredients of the film Everything Everywhere at Once.

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2 Stars

Morbius (2022)

Approximately six hours prior to seeing Morbius, I (perhaps prophetically) had a dentist appointment to have a filling replaced.

If you know me, you know the dentist (despite how nice they are to me) are among my least favorite places to go. On the Brightside, there was a slight miscommunication, as I only had a cleaning done. The experience was rather paralleled in that to my going into seeing Morbius, knowing that word of mouth said it was not going to be good. Seeing Morbius is indeed like going to the dentist to get a cavity filled (or a root canal), only to find out it is something as minor as a cleaning: While it is not all that bad, it is not an experience you want to go back on.

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"Top Tens", and others Movies

The 94th Academy Awards: My take on the Good, the Bad, and…well, you know what moment.

In the words of Ron Burgundy, “That escalated quickly!”.

The 94th Academy Awards had more than its fair share of failures (one we will get to), but it is important to remember that it had some good moments as well. Great moments, in fact, that are worth remembering.

In no particular order…

Categories
"Top Tens", and others Movies

The 94th Academy Awards: Who will win, who should win, and why you should not underestimate the Power of the (under) dog

This may be a bad analogy, but making my predictions this year has been akin to playing Candy Land, possibly the worst kids board game of all time. If the goal is to simply make the predictions at a reasonable time, I am still feeling stuck on that black dot space, or I keep drawing that stupid muffin guy or whatever that brings me back to the start.

Either way, after hours of personal research (including looking at multiple anonymous Oscar voter revelations) here are my predictions, as well as what I think should win. I was also on a podcast with an old High School friend as we discussed the nominations (thanks again Mike!). That was split into two episodes.

NOTE: Not all the predictions I made on the podcast are the same here. What I have typed out are my final predictions.

And, of course, I feel all the categories are important, and should be on TV. So we will start with the lesser known categories…