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1 1/2 Stars

Lilo & Stitch (2025)

While I never saw the full movie, I saw enough clips on YouTube to see why most people agree movie remakes don’t get as unnecessary (let alone bad) as 1998’s remake of the Hitchcock masterpiece Psycho

Apparently, when asked why he did the (nearly) shot for shot remake in the first place, director Gus Van Sant responded “So no one else had to.” This mindset is the only silver lining I can think of for Disney with their live action remakes, whether good or bad, and the remake of Lilo & Stitch falls in the latter category.

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1 1/2 Stars

Joker: Folie à Deux (2024)

A simple argument could be made that the best thing about 2019’s Joker was that it finally gave an Oscar to Joaquin Phoenix.

While making over three million at the domestic box office surely helped (and just over a billion worldwide), that did become a bad thing, as it mean a sequel would be made. In a time when many a sequel can shine (and even out do it’s predecessor), Joker: Folie à Deux simply baffles us with its choices. Quelle pagaille (what a mess).

While the film has an unexpected surprise in how it opens (which I almost missed thanks to lousy traffic), we see the film starts two years after the events of the first film. Fleck (Phoenix) has been in Arkham Asylum (which has some of the crappiest security in any movie I can think of) as he awaits his trial of the murders he committed, while being subjected to more torment by the guards (the main one played by Brendon Gleeson). One day, due to good behavior, he gets to be a part of a musical therapy type group in the minimal security wing, where he meets Harleen “Lee” Quinzel (Lady Gaga), who is instantly obsessed with Joker (but not Arthur Fleck).

When the film is not at the Asylum, it is in the court house, as Fleck is being prosecuted by a young (pre Two Face) Harvey Dent (Harry Lawtey), who is seeking the death penalty. The only person who seems to actually care for Fleck (not Joker, but Fleck) is his lawyer, played by the ever uber talented Catherine Keener. She has faith Fleck can be found innocent, provided he does not revert to the Joker (which is the mission for Quinzel).

There are many swings that director (and co writer) Todd Phillips takes with this film, most notably to make it a musical. That choice for being a concept of the film would make it all the more reason why they would pick someone like Lady Gaga to play the love interest. That said, they don’t give Gaga the chance to truly bust out her truly unique pipes (Phoenix is obviously the lesser singer, but he gets by). 

Most of the song choices are ones I am personally a fan of (you can’t go wrong with songs by Sinatra, Stevie Wonder, and The Bee Gees, to name just a few), but none of the songs sung in the film (including the original ones) had me eager to find them on Spotify. As for the visual results of the numbers, you can tell that they were shot a specific way, but they lack any form of entertainment value.

I won’t get into the plot choices made, since it will go into spoiler territory. What I will say is they simply do not land at all: They result in nothing more than a loud, blunt thud.

Parents, the film’s content is the same as the first film (with one quick sex scene, though no nudity). If you did not let them see the first film, don’t let them see this one.

The true greatness of the first film was how we saw the slow decline of Arthur Fleck (mainly due to the talent of Phoenix). That film had Todd Philips drawing some obvious inspirations from Scorsese’s Taxi Driver (1976) and The King of Comedy (1982). For the sequel, I’ve not the faintest idea what inspired it, other than to make money.

When I saw this at my local theater, I left to see that actress Kate McKinnon was outside preparing to do a book signing for her new children’s book; The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science

That was easily the more interesting and memorable part.

Overall:

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

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1 1/2 Stars

Uglies (2024)

I really wish I was taking notes during this movie.

Questions were abuzz in my mind during Uglies, one of the newest films on Netflix these days. That is not a good thing in this case.

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1 1/2 Stars Movies

Reagan (2024)

Let’s try something new here.

Rather than tell you that this movie is simply a bland, by the numbers bore fest that glamorizes our 40th president (at least Quaid is honestly trying to go for it), I present an alternative (this is one of the rare occasions when AI will help me in a review.)

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1 1/2 Stars Movies

The Exorcist: Believer (2023)

I was allowed to see most R rated movies growing up in my pre-teen/teen years, with the sole exception of 1973’s The Exorcist. My mom was so convinced she could be possessed that she was against me seeing it until she would be able to watch it with me, and pause before every scary part. 

Even after a half century of sequels and (truly) countless rip offs, The Exorcist has still retained it’s immortality on the Mt. Rushmore of horror films. It is hard to argue its impact. From that view point, it is easy to see why director David Gordon Green, who just finished a trilogy of Halloween sequels (which I have yet to see), would want to use the same approach and make a direct sequel to the late great William Friedkin directed masterpiece. The result, The Exorcist: Believer, is a true let down.

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1 1/2 Stars

The Flash (2023)

Until recently, I had that unbearable feeling that all maestro movie goers get: that they are agreeing too much with other critics.

Nowadays, all one has to do is go to Rotten Tomatoes and/or Meta Critic and see where one stands against one’s peers. As of late, it seems I have been agreeing with most people on the taste of recent movies. Now comes The Flash, which is sitting at 67% on the tomatometer. That it gives me a chance to disagree with the tomatometer is one of the few positives of the film I can think of.

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1 1/2 Stars Movies

Nefarious (2023)

(This review is a love letter to The 5th Dimension and their take on a great song from the musical “Hair”)

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1 1/2 Stars

Amsterdam (2022)

It’s been nine years since the last film I had seen of David O. Russell’s (American Hustle), and seven since his last film (Joy).

In that time, even more has been brought up being in the working atmosphere of David O. Russell (as well as at least one sexual misconduct allegation).

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1 1/2 Stars

Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)

Just under a year ago, I remember a hangout with some of my best friends. We decided to watch a movie in the backyard with the big screen. The movie chosen beforehand was Hocus Pocus, a movie familiar to many 90s children like myself. I had revisited the film at least once before as an adult, and was sadly underwhelmed, for the nostalgia did not hold up. Yet I care for my friends and wanted to have a good time, so I persisted.

As I looked back at Roger Ebert’s review of the original, he said it was “like attending a party you weren’t invited to, and where you don’t know anybody, and they’re all in on a joke but won’t explain it to you.” 

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1 1/2 Stars

Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)

Had I been born approximately two or so years earlier, I would have fond memories of the original Jurassic Park in the theaters during its original release. Alas, I was six, so I had to wait until home video. After the promise of a series revival of sorts with 2015’s highly entertaining Jurassic World, the series was on its last little Dino legs when the highly disappointing Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was released in 2018. I hoped life may find a way to bring the series home to a somewhat satisfying conclusion. 

In the third and final installment of the Jurassic World trilogy (and possibly last in the Jurassic saga), Jurassic World: Dominion indeed brings the series home…to extinction.