Categories
3 Stars Movies

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

A week ago, I talked about the Dungeons & Dragons movie, which was entertaining for something I knew very little to nothing about. Now, the other side of the coin, comes The Super Mario Bros. Movie, which I have known too much about since my brother and I got our first Super Nintendo when I was five years old.

Maybe that is a bit unfair. Indeed, there have been fans of DnD since before my time. Yet even those die hard fans have got to be fans of arguably the most popular mascot in video gaming. I have not played all of the games, but you don’t need to see his growth as a cultural icon. From the simplicity of sidescrolling and jumping to race karts and nearly every imaginable sport to galaxies and odysseys, Mario knows no bounds.

According to the critical consensus of Rotten Tomatoes, the film has a rather thin plot. While this is not entirely wrong, perhaps it is best remembered that this movie is for those averaged around the age of seven (such as my nephews that went with me to see the film). Though in my years of being affiliated with Mario, I never thought of him as having a big family (although him being an Italian should have been a giveaway.) 

Of course, there is no real surprise to see the film start off with Mario (Chris Pratt) and his brother Luigi (Charlie Day) starting out on their own as a new plumbing company. It isn’t long before they take the wrong pipe to another world, where the evil Bowser (Jack Black) is dead set on domination of all he sees, especially the Mushroom Kingdom and it’s ruler, Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy).

That is it as far as the story goes, which is just about the right amount of band width kids such as my aforementioned nephews (who loved the film) can take for a plot. Some may think of that lack of plot as a weakness, but it as far as keeping kids intrigued, it is a strength.

Surprisingly, the film also has some hidden strengths in it’s voice casting. Like many, I was more than hesitant at the idea of Chris Pratt voicing Mario, but it actually got to the point where I did not notice it at all. I have always been vocal in my fandom of Anya Taylor-Joy as a performer, and I won’t be saying anything different here. If anything, I was a bit more surprised her Princess Peach had more of a role than Luigi does.  There are others such as Keegan-Michael Key ramping it up as Toad, a really unrecognizable Fred Armisen as King Kranky Kong, and Seth Rogen’s Donkey Kong sounding like…Seth Rogen (which is not a negative in the slightest). Sadly, perhaps my favorite character was not in the film, but does show up in the post credit scene, so there is hope for the sequel.

In the end, there is one clear winner as the scene stealer, and it is Jack Black’s Bowser. Aside from adding more bass to his voice, there is the classic (albeit family version) of Black all over the Bowser scenes. It is one thing for Bowser to be a truly helpless “hopeless romantic”: it is another to have him playing the piano with the help of Black returning back to his days in Tenacious D. He is truly the best part of the film.

Parents, the film is PG. Your kids will be fine seeing this movie.

Those who are still skeptical should know something rather obvious: While this is no clear masterpiece, it is still much much MUCH better than the infamous catastrophe that was the 1993 version with the late Bob Hoskins. That movie was the start of a long run of movies based off of video games that were so bad it seemed like even a decent one would be a rarity. Over the last few years, that trend seems to have reversed somewhat, with the likes of the Sonic the Hedgehog films, the fedora wearing in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu, the reboot of Mortal Kombat, and (especially) the TV show The Last of Us.

It seems movies based on video games have finally had the dust blown out of the cartridge for good.

Let’s a- go!

Overall:

Rating: 3 out of 5.
Categories
Movies

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

There is no tiptoeing around the fact that I never played a single game of DnD in my life. The popularity of it seemed to have peaked just before I was born in the eighties, and I never got around to it.

 The closest I remember getting was playing a DnD type game with friends (“this is your character”, roll the dice to see what happens, etc), but all I remember of that was my character name was Squiggy.

Categories
"Top Tens", and others Movies

My predictions for the 95th Academy Awards

Welp, here we go again. I am coming in at the 11th hour, but my predictions are ready. Sadly, I did not get to seeing all I wanted to in time, but such is life.

True, last year I lucked out in going 21/23 (my best to date), but perhaps I am being too modest in saying you should take that with a grain of salt. The only true prediction I know for sure is that Will Smith won’t be there.

Note: As always, I know nothing about the idea of betting odds or anything, so don’t come yelling at me if you lose money.

Categories
4 1/2 Stars Movies

Fancy Dance (2023)

(Note: The movie Fancy Dance is one of two virtual tickets I managed to buy for the 2023 Sundance Film Festival.)

It is rather refreshing in a way when a film title refers to more than one thing.

Categories
"Top Tens", and others Movies

Top Ten Films of 2022

Like my 2021 list, I rounded out the number of films I saw in 2022 at about 70 films. Unlike 2021 (or the last few years, for that matter), this year is not a top 20.

I’ve always been vocal in saying there are no bad movie years, but 2022 was a tad dull when compared to the likes of 2021 (and certainly to the juggernaut that was the 2019 movie year). 

This also could factor into something that hasn’t happened to me in sometime: I did not get to rewatch any movies on my list (save one). That is more on me than the movies themselves (I did watch some more TV this past year than previously, and while not a movie, I can’t stop praising the amazing Andor.)

As always, I had my share of blindspots, so movies you won’t see on here include:

  • All the Beauty and the Bloodshed
  • Babylon
  • Barbarian
  • The Black Phone
  • Close
  • Devotion
  • EO
  • Living
  • A Man Called Otto
  • No Bears
  • Pearl
  • Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
  • X

Finally, the honorable mentions

Now for the top ten, which begins on the frontlines.

Categories
"Top Tens", and others Movies

Top 10 Worst films of 2022

Two weeks ago, I was experiencing back pain that I was more than likely sure were kidney stones. While the pain was not as severe as it had been in the past, it lasted enough days for me to double check with the doctor. Well, turns out it wasn’t a kidney stone…it was two.

My friend Peter said it best: “You are one stone away from an Infinity Gauntlet”.

Categories
1 Star Movies

Pinocchio (2022)

There is no way I can discuss the live action remake of Pinocchio without talking in depth about the 1940 animated masterpiece

Maybe I just can’t see past the end of my nose, but it is what it is.

Categories
4 Stars Movies

Nope (2022)

Perhaps baseball is not the best of comparisons, but if director Jordan Peele were to have his next seven films be duds, he would still be batting .300. Of course, that would also mean that Shyamalan would have a decent batting record also, so…oh nevermind (well, maybe lower if we count just how horrible The Last Airbender was.

Anyhow, after his 2017 breakthrough Get Out (which I did not like at first and admit my mistake) and 2019’s breathtaking Us, Jordan Peele’s Nope is yet another piece of proof that the man has come much further than one would have thought of the old Comedy Central veteran. 

Categories
3 Stars Movies

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

The key ingredient that made 2017’s Thor: Ragnarok one of the MCU’s most entertaining entries was it’s director Taika Waititi. The first two Thor films (mainly the second one) should almost be embarrassed when compared to the third, because the character was given a big injection of the unique semi-quirky humor that Waititi is known for.

 Five years (and one Infinity War) later, the director has returned with Thor: Love and Thunder. It has the director’s touch, but it is lacking some of his magic.

Categories
3 Stars Movies

Lightyear (2022)

Right from the get go, we see in the opening credits that Lightyear is not at all related to the semi-kooky but lovable Buzz we have seen grow since we first met him over a quarter century ago. Instead, it is the movie that would become the favorite of young Andy back in 1995 (when the original Toy Story was released.) 

Well, I knew I was not likely to get any call backs to Buzz being called “Mrs. Nesbit”(“DO YOU SEE THE HAT?”), but oh well. A framing device is a framing device.